Because of the work I do and its mobility, I have been blessed to be able to spend a few months each year with my 83 year old mother over past few years.  Believe me when I tell you, she wasn’t always this easygoing sweet old woman.  There was a time she could lose her temper and bang the cupboards with the best of them, or give us some mighty hits with a wooden spoon when we did something we shouldn’t have.  But time has a beautiful way of softening our edges, and thankfully, I even see it in myself these days.  

Being a medium does not make impending death any easier, but it does allow for a different perspective. I have seen far too many times how suddenly or tragically loved ones can be taken away from us, regardless of age, socio economic status or health.  Yet how many times do we take those we love the most for granted?  Believing we have unlimited times together, when in reality, that may not be true.  

I recently had a conversation with a woman who was upset with her adult daughter, who was often calling her drunk to discuss her failing romance issues.  This mother was so annoyed by her daughter’s behavior, that she stopped taking her calls.  Having worked with many parents who have lost children, and would give ANYTHING to have an experience like this with their child again, I tried to have her see this situation from a different light.  Unfortunately, I could tell my message fell on deaf ears.

After those we love die, there are often a lot of “ would have” and “should haves” discussed by those left behind.   However, there doesn’t have to be if we learn to appreciate one another while we are living our day to day lives.  Sure, our loved ones are not always easy to deal with, but ask yourself, “would I treat this situation differently if I knew they were going to be gone tomorrow?”

Yes, it can be challenging to put my life on hold for a month to spend time with my mom, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I want to know that when she leaves this earth, that I did all I could to be patient, kind and loving to her.  We may not be perfect in the way we do this, but we should do our best to be there for our loved ones in the capacity in which we are able, for time is promised to no one.


  1. debra ruffner on October 28, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    thank you Susan, you have touched my heart with your words. your words ring true for me due to my loss of my son, as you know. i would say to everyone who reads this, please take the message to heart and do as Susan says. i would give anything to have one more minute with my son. life is too short.
    with love, peace and light

    • Susan Schueler on October 28, 2020 at 8:32 pm

      Debra, thank you for the response; I am glad the words touched your heart. I can only imagine your pain, but please know my love and prayers continue to be with you. XO

  2. Grace Hanewinckel on October 28, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    So very true Susan !! Thank you for the reminder