The Quiet Strength of Grieving People

There are certain readings that will stay with me forever. Not because they were dramatic or filled with grand predictions, but because I was sitting with someone whose life had been permanently altered by loss, and yet somehow they were still standing. 

I’ve recently read for a few parents who have lost sons in their early 20’s, and although the circumstances surrounding their deaths were very different, the pain these parents felt remained the same. As we discussed the tragic deaths of these amazing young men, I was once again reminded that human beings are far stronger than they realize.

Grief changes your cellular structure and rearranges your inner landscape forever. It is not something you conquer or “get over.” Anyone who has experienced profound loss knows there is a version of yourself that existed before, and another version that exists after.

What continually amazes me is how people continue to love, function, care for others, work, laugh, and somehow keep moving forward even while carrying tremendous heartbreak privately inside themselves.

They still pack lunches, answer emails, walk the dog, attend meetings, and smile politely at strangers while internally carrying unimaginable pain.

I often sit with clients who apologize for crying during a session. They will say things like, “I thought I was doing better,” or “I don’t know why this is hitting me today.”

But I understand: grief is not linear.
Our love does not disappear simply because someone has crossed over. The  nervous system has a profound way of remembering. Those anniversaries, songs, smells, birthdays, or ordinary Tuesdays can suddenly open emotional doors we thought had closed.

Suffering in Silence

One of the greatest misconceptions about strength is that strong people are unaffected, when in truth they often feel things more deeply than most. Strength is allowing yourself to feel something devastating and still choosing to remain open hearted afterward.

Some of the strongest people I have ever read for are those quietly caring for aging parents while watching pieces of them slowly disappear through illness or dementia. There is a particular heartbreak in anticipatory grief, in loving someone who is physically present while already beginning to leave in certain ways.

Yet these same people continue showing up. They drive to appointments, manage medications, handle paperwork, smile at nurses and sit beside hospital beds.
They continue loving through their exhaustion.

I have immense respect for people walking through these chapters.

Mediumship has taught me many things over the years, but perhaps one of the most important is this: Love does not end when physical life changes form.

Yes, the relationship, communication and even physical presence may change, but love itself does not vanish.

I have watched parents receive healing through connections with children in Spirit.
I have watched grieving spouses soften for the first time in years after feeling their partner’s presence again. I have watched people who thought they would never breathe normally again slowly begin to reconnect with life. Not because grief disappeared, but because love remained.

There is also something else I have learned from people who have endured tremendous loss.

Many become more compassionate, more awake, more emotionally honest afterward. They are often more willing to love deeply because they understand the fragility of life. Although pain can harden people, it sometimes profoundly opens them too.

Give Yourself Grace

If you are currently walking through grief, especially surrounding an aging parent or someone nearing the end of life, please understand this: There is no perfect recipe to follow on how this is done.

There are days you will feel strong and grounded, while others you may feel exhausted, emotional, numb, angry, distracted, guilty, peaceful, or overwhelmed all within a few hours.

That is part of being human.

Remember, if you are still showing up for your life while carrying all of that inside you, you are likely far stronger than you realize.

If you are currently navigating grief, loss, or major life transitions, please know you do not have to walk through it alone. Private psychic and mediumship sessions are available by phone worldwide, with limited in person availability in Los Angeles.