Posts Tagged ‘self love’
When Receiving is Really Giving
“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self sufficiency.” Mahatma Gandhi I was what people now refer to as a “free range child,” which is a pleasant way of saying that no one had any idea where I was for large portions of the day. I was the opposite…
Read MoreI’m Not A Barbie Doll!
For much of my marriage, I occasionally suspected my husband had wanted a Barbie doll and was mildly disappointed to discover that his wife came with opinions, comfortable shoes and absolutely no interest in being dressed for someone else’s approval. He placed a great deal of emphasis on my appearance. He liked my hair a…
Read MoreThe Best of Both Worlds: Finding Home in Two Places
After my niece was tragically killed in 2011, I started going home to Western New York more frequently to be with my family. It started with three weeks at a time and renting summer cottages, then evolved by 2021 into staying for several months as my mother’s dementia got worse. I became an expert at…
Read MoreHave You Made Peace with Your Anger?
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung Few psychologists have influenced my thinking more profoundly than Carl Jung, perhaps because he never asked us to become less human in order to become more whole. Instead, he invited us to stop running from the parts of…
Read MoreThe Stories We Mistake for Truth
I recently heard a medium on television confidently state that 80% of the population dreams in black and white. The comment immediately caught my attention, not because I considered it impossible, but because it seemed inconsistent with my own experience and with the thousands of conversations I have had over the years with clients, students,…
Read MoreWhy Emotionally Unavailable People Feel So Magnetic
Intense chemistry in a relationship is not always a sign of compatibility, and like many before me, I have learned this the hard way. Sometimes what we actually experience is an activation because something unresolved inside of us gets stirred awake by a person who feels emotionally difficult to fully reach. Then, because the feelings…
Read MoreI’m Done Shrinking to Make Other People Comfortable
Most women are not struggling because they don’t know who they are. They are struggling because they have been taught to hide themselves to make others more comfortable. As women we quickly learn… *anger is viewed as ugly *desire is considered dangerous *raising our voices is considered intrusive *(and my favorite) firm boundaries equal…
Read MoreWhen Calm Feels Suspicious: Why Healthy Love Can Feel Boring at First
A few days ago, an attractive, age appropriate man I am planning to meet asked me what my favorite flower was, and instead of feeling flattered, I felt wary. Was this some kind of strange test? Was he about to be one of those love bombers who comes in hot and disappears just as quickly?…
Read MoreFeeling Anxious and Don’t Know Why?
If you have ever woken up with a tight chest, racing thoughts, or a vague sense of dread without anything obvious being wrong, you are not imagining it. It may come as news to you, but anxiety does not always come from personal circumstances. Sometimes it comes from how sensitive nervous systems interact with larger…
Read MoreChoosing Humanity in a World That Forgets It
It is hard to take in the news lately without feeling our shoulders tighten and our hearts sink. Violence and suffering seem to be everywhere. Whether it is a woman shot while going about her day in the United States or families living under constant fear in Palestine, Venezuela, or Iran, it can begin to…
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