Soul Mates…Not Always Life Mates

One of the most commonly asked question I receive when I give a psychic reading is “Where is my Soul Mate?”  There seems to be a misconception that a soul mate equals a life mate however, and very often, that’s just not the case.  Some of those people we love the most, are only in our lives for a time.  Often to teach us things about ourselves, build us up, give us strength or confidence, and then allow us to move forward, without them.  They may not always be nice to us either, but these types of relationships can teach us the most.

My first serious romantic relationship lasted 10 years.  He was an extremely special gentle soul, whom I jokingly refer to as my Buddha.  Leaving him was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life, but I knew deep within my soul, that what I needed to do in my life (even though I wasn’t quite sure what that was at the time) could not have been achieved if I stayed in that relationship.  Breaking away from the energetic tie I had with him took almost 20 years, and I would dream about him all the time, even though I was later in another relationship.  Sometimes, the only thing that made my heart ache lessen, was the fact that I knew I would reconnect with him once again after we left our human forms.  I wanted to love him in the way that would make him a life mate relationship, but if I had chosen to do that, I realize now that my soul’s purpose of doing this Spiritual work, would never have been realized.  He gave me confidence in myself, showed me unconditional life, and then we parted ways.

My second soul mate was very different.  He showed me that I had the capacity to love another unconditionally.  In that relationship I was more raw and vulnerable than ever before.  My ability to love went far deeper than I ever imagined it could.  Because of this, when the relationship fell apart, it brought me to a “Dark Night of the Soul” which caused me to dig deep and really do some inner work and soul searching.  This allowed me to blossom in many unexpected ways where my Spiritual work was involved.  It was the deepest, most heart wrenching pain I have experienced, but I needed that pain to better empathize with my fellow man, so I could continue to do this work.  Due to the darker dynamics of the relationship, had I stayed, it would have ended up hurting my Spiritual development, so regardless of how I may still miss him, it was really a blessing in disguise.  

I know these people were both my soul mates, because of the deep soul connection I still feel toward both of them, even though I am no longer connected to either, but neither of these men are my life mates.

People come and go in our lives, each teaching us certain things, and it is important to value these lessons, knowing we too, teach others as well.  We may not see the big picture, especially when our emotions are deeply involved, but we need to trust and know that the right soul mates will be placed in our path at the appropriate times, sometimes only for a few years, but they are important all the same and we need to appreciate these relationships.


  1. Andrea Giambrone on February 6, 2020 at 12:45 am

    This was wonderful to read, Susan. I have kept tabs on your marvelous growth and development since you decided to free yourself to allow greater, deeper growth to occur. You are on a path that continues to enrich your Life & Spirit – and what greater path can there be?

    • Steve on February 6, 2020 at 12:13 pm

      Tough road….Must have been extremely painful. Don’t know how you had the strength to leave someone you cared and continue to care so much and so long for.
      On a lighter note, it could be video distortions or maybe something else but it looks like you had some friendly mists floating in front of you and then behind the top of your head starting at around 1:50 of your changing your tribe video. I’m guessing that for you, it’s an every day thing 😊

      • Susan Schueler on February 6, 2020 at 12:49 pm

        Steve, it was THE hardest. It still breaks my heart a little when I think about losing both of the people who I consider my romantic soul mates. But it’s about the lessons we learn and what they agreed to teach us, and I look forward to seeing them again when we are all in our spiritual forms, and no longer weighted down by these nasty little human suits! 🥳 (And yes, those lovely Spirit people are around me all the time!!!!)

    • Susan Schueler on February 6, 2020 at 12:50 pm

      Andrea, I love you for saying this! XXOO

  2. Steve on February 8, 2020 at 11:33 am

    Can you go back to your first love and learn your life lessons together?