For the Days Everything Feels Like Too Much

That heavy feeling in the pit of the stomach, the racing thoughts, the urge to push harder instead of slow down; this is what overwhelm actually feels like. It is not a personality flaw, but a nervous system overload triggered when too many demands hit at once and the brain stops prioritizing and starts panicking. I used to power through it until I learned it was far more effective to interrupt the spiral. Instead of pretending it isn’t happening, here are a few practical techniques that have helped me over the years.

1. Name the overwhelm out loud!

Saying “I am overwhelmed right now” tells the nervous system we see the problem. When something is named, the brain stops treating it like a threat hiding in the dark. No longer are we drowning, but instead observing the water level.

Do not try to fix it, just name it!

2. Shrink the task!

Overwhelm comes from looking at everything all at once, and if you’re anything like me, the brain does not do well with that.

So simply look at the smallest action that might only take 5 minutes or less.  Don’t worry about finishing up the email, just focus on opening up the laptop. If the kitchen is a mess, wipe down the sink. Think small! It’s amazing how it starts a flow with momentum.

3. Use the body to calm the mind.

We cannot think our way out of overwhelm, but starting movement will help to regulate the nervous system. The following techniques will signal the nervous system that we are not in danger and once the body calms down, the racing mind will soon follow.

• Put your feet flat on the floor and press them down firmly.
• Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly and breathe slowly. (This is my favorite!)
• Splash cool water on your face.
• Stretch your arms above your head and hold.

4. Contain the chaos instead of solving it.

I am the queen of lists, and sometimes just placing my scattered thoughts on paper can help. It’s not even a matter of organizing them at first, just getting them down. 

Then draw a circle around only the things that can be immediately influenced. Everything else goes outside the circle. They are not gone forever, just not running the show anymore.

5. Stop asking what is wrong with you!

Why are we our own worst enemies?  Overwhelm is often a sign that we care, that we are stretched, that we are carrying more than one role at a time. It does not mean we are weak or failing.

The question is not “Why can’t I handle this.”

The better question is “What support or structure is missing right now.”

Sometimes just that simple shift reduces the pressure.

6. Choose regulation over productivity.

What this really means in real life

When we are overwhelmed, our nervous system is no longer regulated and is in fight, flight or freeze mode. In that state, pushing ourselves to be productive is like flooring the gas while the parking brake is on. (It may make a lot of noise, but we’re not going anywhere!)

The magic happens when we can become calm first, then think with more clarity, which finally allows for productive movement forward.

Even ten percent calmer is enough to change your next decision.

Overwhelm does not mean we are failing. It means our system is asking for care, not pressure. When we slow down enough to regulate first, everything becomes easier and clearer. We do not need to fix our whole lives in one moment, only to meet ourselves where we are and take the next small, steady step. Calm creates clarity, and clarity creates movement.