Are You Turning Wounds Into Wisdom?

One of my male surfer friends often says, “it’s all good” when people around him are speaking about challenges or issues they may be experiencing in their life.  When I moved from New York to California many years ago, it would bother me when I would hear people use this expression, because I would automatically think to myself, “It most certainly is NOT all good!  There are horrible things in the world!” However, as I have spiritually grown and evolved, I now better understand what my surfer friend means.

As humans, it is natural for us to want to assign blame when things do not go the way we feel they should.  We look at any given situation, assigning a pile that is her fault, his fault, our fault or their fault.  Yet, by blame being given, we automatically make something good or bad, right or wrong, just or unjust.  We tend to see things in polarities of one way or the other; but it simply isn’t true.  

Since we have different ideas about what is good or bad, right or wrong, or happy or sad, these are subjective beliefs; so by assigning blame on another person, we are actually saying, “you are wrong because you decided to do something differently than the way I wanted it done!”  In reality, “it is what it is,” or as my surfer friend says, “it’s all good.”  I prefer the “it’s all good” rational because it tends to focus on the positive that is interwoven in every situation we experience in life, regardless of how tragic it may feel at the time. Every challenge is a teachable moment because through all of life’s trials, we learn more about ourselves. We are given opportunities (if we allow ourselves to see it this way) to see the darker shadow side of ourselves, examine why we behave the way we do, learn, and finally evolve, so we can later come from a place of our higher self, rather than the human lower vibrational and self righteous ego.

Granted, not everyone is going to live this way, but the only life we are living is our own, so how others choose to navigate theirs shouldn’t be our business. We are here on different journeys and this is another reason blaming others is futile. Since we have come here to learn and explore different things, it is egocentric to believe that everyone needs to adhere to our specific beliefs, especially when these thoughts and feelings are ever changing.

When we learn to stop blaming others, we move away from the victim mentality. By being a victim we automatically give our power away and lower our vibration by embracing feelings like hopelessness, anger, depression and apathy. When there is no blame, it’s much easier for us to keep our power, accept what is, and move forward with strength and grace, knowing we have learned much from the situation and are stronger for having experienced it. There doesn’t need to be blame assigned and we can just learn our lessons and turn the page. We may no longer wish to align ourselves with these individuals, and that is just fine, because the lesson has been learned and we can move forward to the next one as we allow our higher selves to lead the way, because “it is all good!”